Sept 12, 2010
New York City
Elevation: 80m
I am pre-occupied today with the question of authenticity. I aim to live an authentic life. I aim to live a life that is true to who I am as a person. However, there are different sides of selves that we all have and each side of those selves have different needs and finding the right balance is often precarious. With my recent new title as director of Baang and Burne Contemporary, all of sudden feel like I just added another handful of balls to the juggling act.
It is raining here in NYC. I went out for my daily walk in Central Park in fleece and cargo pants. For the first time since Cuba, I am in my travel attire and I feel like the backpacker version of myself. All week long, I made my round and hustled in 3in heels / boots and red lipsticks. Both versions of myself are true. Both versions of the selves are something I am comfortable with. I am happy living out of a backpack, sleep on buses as I am comfortable in expensive restaurants and shaking hands with the powers that be. I try hard to not make this an either or equation and live a paradigm where having both is possible.
A friend of mine tells me about his life in Vancouver, BC. He works a job that he enjoys and excels at. However, he does not define himself by his work and on weekends he engages in outdoor activities that he loves. A recent saturday afternoon for him involved reading a book in a beautiful spot in Gransville Island and shopping for fresh fish and kale for dinner. The emphasis he puts on quality of life is admirable to me and something that I would like to strive for a little bit more. Don’t get me wrong, there is quality to my life, but with 4 distinct job titles and functions that I currently have and must perform, finding that odd afternoon off is often a challenge.
All of this just brings us to the interesting dichotomy that I find myself in. I am now a gallery director with a roster of artists whose work I believe in and am eager to exhibit / promote. I am a working artist with an epic project to complete (Wok The Dog) as well as a handful of new projects that are in progress. Who am I? Which Hat am I wearing today? Conventional wisdom makes one think that perhaps I should just focus on one identity and be that. In a society that is monotheism to the extreme, complexity and multifacetness is often frowned upon. What happened to the Renaissance Man? What happened to applauding our inner complexity and understanding that the true beauty comes from the combination of the full spectrum?
Balance and authenticity is what I am seeking in this current sea of multiple identity that I am sailing. I believe that everything feeds back into everything else. I believe that my excellence as an artist will make me a better gallery director. Today, I am preoccupied by the question of our complex identity and how I could be faithful and true to all parts of myself, the backpacker in cargo pants as well as the version of me in 3 inch Manolo Blahnik, Chanel red and all the variants in-between.
*Do you believe that it is possible to be an excellent artist and not define yourself by your work?
*How do you deal with all the various versions of yourself and be true to them all?
